If you asked most dads what their favorite meal of the weekend is, they'd likely say breakfast. Only on weekends can we take the time to create the kind of belt-loosening gutbuster of a spread that will fuel us through a grueling day of yard work, fishing, golf, channel surfing or deep thinking.

For this year's gift guide, I've assembled a passel of the finest breakfast-oriented creations known to man, from the best pancakes you've ever tasted to ones you can squirt out of a can, plus the butter to go on them!

We'll start with the main event, simply the best danged pancakes ever to come from a box, and certainly better than any homemade ones I've ever managed to whip up. They also happen to have the coolest name in the food business, bar none: Aretha Frankenstein's.

These pancakes, mixed with your own eggs and full-fat buttermilk (the back of the box threatens the vengeance of the pancake gods if you stray), cook up light, fluffy and delicately sweet enough to eat without a single thing atop them. I make them a full box at a time and stow the leftovers in the fridge. They pop in the toaster nicely for a quick weekday morning breakfast, and believe me when I tell you that two will be sufficient.

And believe it or not, you can get a whole case, 12 boxes of pancakey goodness, for about the price of two family breakfasts at your local IHOP. Don't let the Rachel Ray endorsement scare you off ... I'm fairly sure Tony Bourdain would like them, too.

As I said, the pancakes really don't need anything atop them, but who can argue with a little butter?

If you've ever spent big bucks seeking out some high-grade European butter, you can now get superior taste that comes from right here in the U.S. Kate's Homemade Butter, available in unsalted form or with the addition of Maine sea salt, is available at all Whole Foods and Wild Oats markets.

The first thing you'll notice when you put some of the salted butter on your pancakes is how quickly it melts. I don't know if it's the purity, the cream content or that delicious sea salt, but you won't be standing there staring at a pat of slowly melting yellow goo. And the flavor is absolutely sublime. The richness just might lead you to consume far more of Aretha's pancakes (or anything else you use it on) than you planned.

And the unsalted? I made the best batch of Paulette Mitchell's Triple Chocolate-Cassis Brownies ever with it, and that's saying something. (Mom: Make these brownies for Dad.)

Say you're going the bacon and eggs route for breakfast. You'll certainly want some toast or muffins to go along with all that protein, won't you? Of course you'll need some toast to sop up the yolk from the eggs you've fried in the bacon grease.

(You DO fry your eggs in your bacon grease, right? If not, why not?)

But the rest of your bread will need some sort of tasty topping, and that's where my pals Walt and Wendy at Imladris Farm come in. Whether you choose blueberry, blackberry, raspberry or Berry Best jam or go for their outstanding apple butter, your humble bread will be elevated to Food of the Gods status.

And Walt's got a special offer just for Short Orders readers! If you type "Short Orders" in the comments field on your order, shipping will be FREE on all orders of $15 or more. So get cracking!

These delicacies are made from fruits grown at Imladris Farm, using sustainable agriculture methods. You can't fault folks who have a cow named Trillium as part of their weed removal and fertilization crew!

Just in case Dad's not quite up to mixing his own pancakes, there's a new product that will be fun for him and the kids. I love it because the name sounds like it ought to have a cheesy infomercial starring Billy Mays built around it: Batter Blaster. If you've ever handled a can of Reddi-Whip, you can make pancakes with this. And they're pretty good pancakes, too! The side of the can says you'll get 28 4-inch pancakes, although my yield was somewhat lower. Maybe I wasn't measuring right. The fact is that these are far better pancakes than they've got any right to be. Nothing this easy should taste this good. They don't beat Aretha's, but they beat Denny's.

I wasn't as thrilled using it to make waffles. I found them to be rather tough both to cut and to chew. It also took about half a can to fill my George Foreman grill with the waffle plates installed.

The Ultimate Father's Day Gift?

What guy doesn't like to snap off a chunk of beef jerky now and again? Whether they're purists who like theirs just straight smoked or venture into exotic flavors like teriyaki, there are very few dads who don't appreciate the wonder of slowly dried meat.

Thus it is my great pride to present to you, loyal Short Orders readers, the Beef Jerky Bouquet.

In one convenient and attractively assembled package, you get a great assortment of top-quality jerky of various types and flavors, from beef sticks to more traditional flat cuts. And instead of some wussy vase, the bouquet comes in a big, manly beer mug that will occupy a place of honor in your freezer.

If you're a dad, print out plenty of copies of the pictures on the site and leave them around the house as hints. If you're not a dad, buy a bouquet for yourself and pretend.

So, there you have it, a passel of delicacies to make any dad's Father's Day truly memorable, at least until you can afford that Lamborghini he's had his eye on.

Got a question? Comment? Topic you'd like to see covered? Product you want reviewed? Drop me a line, anytime!